The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, by Sheila Wray Gregoire
Overview
This book is written and intended for women. However, it is very readable for men too, and I would even recommend it to men, because it talks about sex from a woman’s perspective. If you are uncomfortable reading about sex, then you should stop reading right here.
In summary, the main point of this book is similar to that of other Christian books about marriage. Specifically, marriage and sex are designed by God, to glorify God. These things were created by God for us to enjoy, for us to learn more about the character of God, and to bring glory to God. The author, Sheila, argues that conservative and religious women, typically referred to as “Good Girls,” enjoy sex and are fulfilled by sex more than “Bad Girls”, where Bad Girls are the women that we typically see on the covers of provocative magazines and who are known for jumping from one partner to the next in order to get the next thrill. Marriage is designed to be a covenant in which man and woman can fully know each other, physically and emotionally. Since sex is largely emotional, truly enjoyable sex cannot be experienced without the emotional bond created in marriage.
Some things to consider
A man physically cannot pee when he has an erection
Women need to be fully relaxed in order to completely enjoy sex
Although women may not actively desire sex like men do, they will often start to feel “in the mood” a few minutes into foreplay
Women can experience an orgasm via three different mechanisms: clitoris, vagina, and G-spot
Typically, men have higher libidos than their wives. However, roughly 1/4 of women have higher libidos than their husbands.
“Men make love to feel loved, whereas women need to feel loved to make love.” When men do not get sex, they don’t give love. When women don’t receive love, they don’t give sex. This is the same crazy cycle that Emerson Eggerichs talks about in his book, “The Crazy Cycle”! Emerson talks about the crazy cycle with regards to love and respect, but it’s the same theme with love and sex. When a man does not receive the thing that he needs, then he does not give his wife the thing that she needs. When a woman does not receive the thing that she needs, then she does not give her husband the thing that he needs. It’s a crazy cycle!
We feel closest to God when we realize that we aren’t Him. God is different from us. For example, when we see mountains, we realize that God is so much more powerful, beautiful, and mighty than we are. During moments when we realize the extent of our differences from God, we feel closer to Him. The same is true with our spouses. We feel most attracted to our spouses when we recognize and embrace our differences.
Typically, women connect with other women by talking face-to-face, whereas men connect with other men by doing activities side-by-side. Therefore, wives can connect to their husbands by doing activities with them. And men can connect with their wives by talking and listening to them.